The Stillness of Mary
Alli Koscal reflects on Mary's virtue and how through her motherhood and her example, we can learn to find more quiet in our lives in order to know our belovedness and grow closer to Jesus
As a woman, mother, and Catholic, I have always admired Mary’s virtuousness, particularly her meek and magnanimous spirit. Her mighty display of disciplined and calm strength throughout each moment of her earthly journey with Jesus reveals her docile and humble heart. From the stunning request at the Annunciation all the way through to the unbearable pain of the Crucifixion, Mary was unwavering in her vocation and mission from God.
In her poignant response, “Let it be done to me according to your word” (Lk 1:38), Mary’s meekness was on full display. Can we even imagine the strength it took to accept what God was asking of her? And not only did she accept it, she did so with a beautifully serene spirit. Mary was steadfast through it all, seeking always and only God’s will, even when it meant deep and unimaginable pain for her own tender mother’s heart.
At the foot of the cross, where her sweet baby boy was suffering so intensely, we see the virtue of magnanimity on full display. She did not utter any words to Jesus, for He must have felt the intensity of her loving heart and greatness of spirit in His own soul. The brilliance of her greatness lay in the littleness of her self-interest. She lived to serve her God and to love her family, and never was this more evident than there, at the end of Jesus’ life. His mother’s presence was a balm of holy stillness in the middle of horrific violence and chaos. And from His agony on the cross, Jesus spoke of His desire for our relationship with Mary, and hers with us:
“When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.” - John 19:26-27
Jesus knew that we would need Mary as a constant reminder of feminine genius, incredible virtue, and tranquility. And oh, how our world needs the stillness of Mary now. We have no shortage of chaos, noise and temptation swirling around our own hearts and minds. As we contend with a technological age that is making gains at warp speed, we must also be mindful of what we are losing.
As we gain convenience and innovation in communication, it is inevitable that we lose some human connection. We make fewer phone calls because it’s easier to text. We engage socially and professionally in person less often because it’s easier to call, FaceTime, or Zoom. We don’t interact with our local community as much because shopping is so much easier online. We don’t pray or read or spend time in quiet contemplation as much because it’s so much easier to zone out by scrolling on social media.
But none of this changes the fact that we do need human connection, with God and with each other. In fact, we need it more than ever! We were made in God’s image for love and intimacy. This is where we find holy stillness- where our cup is filled up and overflows with joy, hope and peace. With this Marian orientation in our hearts, our souls become holy havens of glorious rest. In the resting, we soak in the peace and quiet that God so longs to give us, and we are changed, little by little.
As we hold Mary’s hand and move through trials with holy calm, we gain confidence in the powerful providence of God. We grow in meekness and belief that He is in control. And as we practice rest for our minds, we perceive the whispers that Jesus places on our heart, gentle words of love and affirmation that are so hard to hear when we are consumed with the noise.
Here we experience the truth that we are His beloved daughters, extraordinary women who are unafraid for the battles ahead because we know that we have a perfect, loving, protective Father who will never abandon us. And with Mary’s holy presence at our side, we can believe the words that St. Paul spoke that “in Him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28). Mary is the Mother of our Lord, and she is our Mother, too. May her courageous spirit be a constant haven of peace and light in our lives.
Alli Koscal is a wife, mama to seven glorious children, Catholic writer, and beloved daughter of the King. She is on a mission to share the light and love of Jesus and encourage women to embrace their vocations with grace and a good sense of humor. A true introvert at heart, she loves quiet time sipping coffee, reading, snuggling with her dogs and hanging out with her family. You can find her on Instagram @findinghavens7 and at findinghavens.net.